What Your Manicure Says About You
We take manicures very seriously around these parts, from trying to find the very best ones and seeing which polishes our readers love most. But now that we know what your eyeliner says about you according to my totally scientific research, it’s time to delve past the shades and see what each says about your personality.
You’ve been getting Essie‘s “Ballet Slippers” for your manicure for approximately a decade, which is almost as long as you have had that haircut. Sure, you get layers, trim the bangs and go a shade lighter/darker every few years, but you’ve essentially looked the same forever. You’re better at DIY projects than nearly anybody you know, and you never fail to impress people with your level of discipline at your job, which is probably in PR. You have never enjoyed roller coasters and resent being pressured into them. You own several little black dresses, none of which go above your thighs. Sometimes you wonder if you forgive people too easily.
You are always in a hurry everywhere, even if it’s just to the gym which you go to at least three times per week and then sometimes an extra day to take classes. You remove most of your body hair, though you have no misgivings about anybody who does not. You make other people nervous when you’re not smiling, so you have become accustomed to giggling more than you’d like when things are not actually that funny. People underestimate your intelligence on a regular basis, but you are more than capable both socially and career-wise. If you have siblings or cousins, you’re very close with them; if you have pets, you let them sleep in your bed. You firmly believe one can never drink too much champagne.
You call male spouses “hubbies.” You will literally watch any show that begins with the two words “Real Housewives.” When you reach for appetizers, you only use your forefinger and thumb in order to be as dainty as possible. At work, you type hard enough on your keyboard that it’s noticeable to other people. In middle school, you were good at coming up with nicknames for people (probably not the nice kind). You own several pairs of ballet flats, but prefer to walk in heels. You do not drink beer, nor anything that makes it likely you will burp later. You write a lot of passive-aggressive Facebook statuses that don’t use any names, but everybody knows who you’re talking about anyway.
You are the kind of person who knows what she wants, then doesn’t pursue it until the last minute. But when you do go after your desires, you pursue them vehemently until every last one is fulfilled–especially when those desires involve desserts and kissing (though never at the same time because food fetishes weird you out). You know how to do cat eyeliner better than anybody you know. Halfway through the summer, you completely give up on looking good on weekdays. You have at least one bar you’re a regular at, probably more. Your favorite cocktail is a dark and stormy with extra ginger beer, and you only eat thin-cut fries.
Your eyebrows are always perfectly sculpted–a skill you take lots of pride in. You know how to wink at attractive strangers without coming off as weird. Though you tried many diets as a teenager, you now prefer the “red wine and bruschetta” one, or possibly an “IPA and burger” regimen. It pains you to admit that you think smoking looks cool in an old Hollywood sort of way, even though you stopped doing it ages ago (except the occasional rogue cigarette every couple of months on a rooftop somewhere). You don’t eve buy bras at Victoria’s Secret; you prefer small boutiques that will cater to your taste for deep, dark, dramatic lace.
Nobody has ever accused you of being boring, but if they did, you would probably just ignore them anyway, then head to your 5 AM modern dance class. If you could ride any creature to work, it would be a Pegasus, and you would fly it to Ibiza. You are always entirely too busy on Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings, though sometimes you wish you could just curl up in a ball and watch Netflix all night. But there are so many parties to go to! So go you must.
You are the kind of person who picks up hors d’oeuvres and then puts them back if they’re not visually appealing enough, cringing as you do so. You find most beer boring, but you’ll drink it if it’s the only thing at the party. On Tumblr, you always reblog the GIFs that should come with epilepsy warnings. In college, you had at least one Andy Warhol poster in your room. A significant amount of your underwear is from H&M and Forever 21. After ordering at a cafe, you immediately wonder if you’ve made the wrong decision. Giraffes are probably your favorite animal, though pandas come in at a close second. You’re the only person you know who still (kind of) likes Comic Sans.
You are probably the most clearheaded of any of your friends, but you’re still empathetic enough to know when they need comfort most. Though you try to be conscious of what you eat, you do it for the health factor rather than letting it revolve around your weight. You don’t shy away from body humor, which is good because neither do the people you’re attracted to. You’re very organized and ambitious–much more so than most people give you credit for, a fact you sometimes feel frustrated about. Despite it being a rare occurrence, you absolutely love getting blowouts. You cannot see a fat dog without wanting to pet it.
Like that one chapter of the Harry Potter books you love so much say: you must not tell lies. You’re an honest person–sometimes too much so–which your friends are often grateful for, even if it hurts their feelings sometimes. In school, you were great at history because your memory is impeccable–which also means you tend to be a grudge holder. You used Times New Roman or Courier New in your MySpace profile. You have never understood the appeal of Bradley Cooper nor Jennifer Lawrence.
You prefer black, white, or nude shades for your nails and shoes. You do not like “statement necklaces” because you feel like you’re wearing costume jewelry. When it comes to your skin, you’re not all that fussy–you mostly use rosewater and a tinted moisturizer with sunscreen. You own at least one pair of Tom’s. You are usually the first person to know what you want to order at a restaurant.
You own several different colors of the same crop top. Everyone says that you’re the best person to shop with because you know where the weird outlets and niche boutiques are. You don’t have a favorite cocktail because you prefer to try a new one every time. When it comes to flowers, you prefer wild bouquets with lots of variety in them; in fact, you find red roses a little disappointing.
You have always wanted to know how it feels to have somebody be waiting for you when you come down the escalator at an airport, whether it’s an escort to an amazing coastal resort or a devastatingly attractive date who just wants you to finally love them back. You are an expert at curling and straightening irons. You love cocktails with grenadine and prefer seltzer water over still. You have never worn a pair of Crocs, not even once. How did you get so good at bubble letters?
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